


Say You'll Haunt Me

by brittyelaine



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Episode Related, Episode: s09e06 Heaven Can't Wait, Fallen Angel Castiel, Feels, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, brief mention of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 19:08:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7476303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brittyelaine/pseuds/brittyelaine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tonight, and for the rest of the nights that there are, Cas would hold this close to him and remember all of its beauty; remember the feeling of Dean's heart beating against him.</p><p>The night Dean visits Cas in Rexford, they attempt to come to terms with this profound bond between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say You'll Haunt Me

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [THIS](http://purgatoryjar.tumblr.com/post/147198629752/lets-admit-it-they-must-have-slept-together) beautiful fanart by [PurgatoryJar](http://www.purgatoryjar.tumblr.com). Her art is so awesome. Please go check her out!
> 
> Come hang out with me on [Tumblr](http://brittywritesstuff.tumblr.com)!

"Dean..."

Dean's hand hovered over the gear shift. His body seemed to tense at the sound of Cas's voice. Slowly, he lowered his hand and turned to Cas. He licked his lips. "Yeah, Cas?"

Cas ran his fingers over the cast on his arm curiously, his brow drawn together in worry. Finally, he spoke. "I've missed you." It was a quiet admission. His voice wavered. There was unmistakable, profound sadness there. Any previous anger he'd had toward Dean seemed to have melted away. "I... I'm not ready to watch you leave just yet."

The pained expression that crossed Dean's face then was unlike anything Cas had ever seen before. "Cas..." Cas watched as Dean swallowed the lump in his throat, slowly shaking his head. When he looked up, Cas saw tears shining in his eyes. Those beautiful green eyes Cas had spent so much time studying. When he moved, it felt like slow motion. Dean slid across the seat and gripped Cas's face, pulling him in for a bruising kiss. "I'm not ready to leave," Dean murmured. 

+

When the door of the motel room closed, Dean wasted no time. He pressed Cas against it, his mouth seemingly refusing to be separated from Cas for even the briefest of seconds. And Cas couldn't get enough of it.

They clumsily unclothed, Cas's cast bumping uncomfortably against Dean as they fumbled their way to the bed. When they fell together with a collective groan onto the creaky motel bed, skin pressed against skin, the mood suddenly shifted. Gone was the urgency and frantic pawing. It gave way to gentle, tender touches and loving, lingering kisses. It was obvious they both were desperate to hold onto this for as long as possible.

They took things slow. Cas introduced himself to each and every freckle on Dean's body. Dean took his time discovering every inch of Cas's soft, golden skin. They moved together until they both broke, and Dean reluctantly pulled himself away long enough to grab a warm washcloth to clean them.

"Don't wanna go... go to sleep," Dean whispered as he curled against the former angel, their foreheads touching. His eyes were closed. "need to be awake. Gotta... spend..." 

"Please stay with me, Dean," Cas whispered, reaching out to gently trace the lines of his face. Despite his efforts, however, Dean had fallen asleep. He let his arm rest on Cas's chest, his hand tucked beside his face, nestled closely to Cas's head. Cas breathed in slowly and swallowed the lump in his throat. He turned to watch Dean, his face always so beautiful and peaceful in sleep, like the weight of the world had fallen away. Cas had watched him sleep for years, but to see it this close; to be able to breathe him in; to feel his skin against his own... it made his heart ache. 

He leaned over and kissed Dean's head before settling back on the pillow. As he stared back up at the ceiling, the tears he'd fought so hard to keep at bay spilled over. He knew this wouldn't last. In the morning - maybe even sooner - Dean would be gone, and Cas would be on his own again. He wouldn't let himself regret this, though. If only for one night, he'd held Dean in his arms. He'd felt Dean's body in every way imaginable. He'd kissed Dean's lips. He'd heard Dean whisper sweet words in his ear. Tonight, and for the rest of the nights that there are, Cas would hold this close to him, and remember all of its beauty; remember the feeling of Dean's heart beating against him.

+

The Impala rolled to a stop in front of the Gas 'N' Sip, and Cas glanced at it with a frown.

"Listen, Cas... Back at the bunker, I, uh... Sorry I told you to go. I know it's been hard on you, you know... On your own. Well... you're adapting. I'm proud of you."

Cas recognized that tone in Dean's voice. That look in his eyes. He was trying so hard to maintain the mask he'd promptly re-positioned as soon as they left the motel room that morning. But Cas knew. He could see the pain. Dean would never know how badly Cas was hurting, though. He would never know how each of Dean's cordial, down-to-business words twisted the knife deeper and deeper into his gut.

He forced a pained, tight-lipped smile. "Thank you, Dean." He sighed, shaking his head. "But there's something Ephraim said." He wanted to mention it last night, but there hadn't been much room for discussion. "The angels... They need help. Can I really sit this out? Shouldn't I be searching for a way to get them home?" He wanted so desperately for Dean to bring him back. Take him _home_ Let him _help_. He knew, though, this was the end of the line. Even before Dean spoke.

"Me and Sam will take care of the angels. You're human now. It's not your problem anymore."

Cas slid out of the car silently, forcing himself not to let his tears fall. He bent down, leaning in the window, wanting so badly to kiss Dean goodbye. To hold him one last time. But now, in the light of day, he knew that wouldn't be possible. He knew the time he had with Dean had been fleeting. Instead, he held up his hand in goodbye, and Dean did the same. Before he couldn't, he turned and headed inside, feeling his heart shatter as the Impala started up, and Dean drove out of his life again... just as quickly as he'd arrived.

He made himself busy, readying the coffee for customers. He switched off the television, unable to listen to the terrible news plaguing the world. He frowned as he glanced out the window, watching the cars pass by the store. Closing his eyes briefly, he sighed, pressing his forehead to the glass. He swore the sound of that damn Impala would haunt him forever, long after Dean Winchester had disappeared from his life.

The bell above the door chimed. "Sorry, we're not open yet."

"Cas."

Cas's eyes flew open as Dean stepped forward, gripping his face. "Dean, what--"

Just as he had the night before, he pulled him in, his lips crashing against Cas's, only letting up when he was gasping for breath. "I can't tell you why, but just know I _can't_ bring you back with me right now." Cas had never heard Dean's voice so broken and desperate. "But I promise you, Cas, when everything's said and done, I'll come back for you. You hear me?"

Cas gripped Dean's wrists as he nodded, tears slipping down his cheeks _yet again_. "I hear you, Dean." He pressed a kiss to Dean's lips, and sighed when the hunter pulled away.

"I'm so sorry, Cas. But I gotta go." He kissed Cas's forehead. "If I don't walk away from you now, I won't be able to." His grip on Cas's face was the last to go as he backed away. With one last tearful look, he spun on his heel and barreled through the door, leaving Cas in stunned silence and praying for a swift resolution of whatever it was that forced Dean to keep him at arm's length; whatever it was that was keeping them apart.


End file.
